Tuesday, February 2, 2016

Playdough and Elmo

Our son turned 12 yesterday and all I’ve been thinking about is where has the time gone?

I’ve been busy being busy -- that's where it's gone.

Life these past 12 years -- the years since I became a parent and embarked on a professional writing career -- have been an endless blur of taking on new responsibilities and the stress that comes along with them. 

How I wish I could go back and talk to my younger self during those first early years of motherhood and say -- enjoy enjoy enjoy every single fucking minute.  Hold squeeze giggle play tag make silly faces moo like a cow and run in the surf in your JEANS -- scream hello MOON! And goodnight SUN! sing sing sing at the top of your lungs regardless of what song it is or if you can even carry a tune -- stop to look at ants -- let the laundry pile up -- eat cake for breakfast -- make rocket ships to the moon out of cardboard boxes -- hang onto to every broken toy and ripped book -- let Barney play without cringing -- in fact learn all the fucking words to the Barney song and sing it at the top of your lungs -- snuggle -- tickle and stay in bed or play hide and seek -- even if it means being late to school -- even if it means missing a day of school -- put down your cell phone -- get your face out of the computer -- stop thinking about work the minute you walk through the front door -- shake off whatever happened during the day and STOP.  

Stop and look into their eyes.  Stop and listen to whatever the fuck your kid wants to say -- even if you’ve heard the story 20,000 times before.  Fiercely guard your weekend time with your family and DO NOT WORK if you can help it -- love love love LOVE the fact that you are a parent -- CAN be a parent and GET to live with these little scamps that smell like toothpaste and grass and mud and sweat and playdough and chocolate and pee.  Selfishly prioritize your every waking moment with your children and  above all else -- on their 12th birthday -- call them BABY even if they groan, then MAKE them let you hug them tight -- so tight they can’t breathe -- then give them a piece of cake and make them watch Elmo with you.